Brother Shinra the Potatoe
by CrackonKappacumbers
Summary: a Shizuo and the potatoe au story spin off for Shinra and if his adventures as a potatoe would have been series and how/if he actually was turned into a potatoe because of this reason, yeah c: Totally makes the best sense. real summary; in the forest of the non-bukuro town, where the native Russians live, shinra and his brother went to be summoned to see what it needs to be a man.


**continued from Shizuo and the potatoe au story related**

Shinra the doctor of kappas, was now a potatoe with glasses.

**au world with of how MAYBE Shinra REALLY turned into a potatoe C:**

This is the story of a old boy, who was smart. Probably smarter than you. Ok, this is insulting but, yeah.

Anyways, he was a smarty pants, but he needed one thing, to become a man.

-In the not lands of bukuro forest native lands-

"It a nice day today in da grassy fields" Says Kadota with a rope thing.

"Ya, lots o green patches everywhere" c: Said Mikado also with a rope thing again.

"GET DOWN!" Shinra ran down to them.

"What?" Both looked at Shinra with confusion.

"GET DOWN, GET DOWN" ran a Shinra with behind him.

A giant herd of deers came stomping down to their way.

Kadota and Mikado paniked and hid and Shinra followed them till they would all leave.

-later-

"Umg Shinra what did ou do" They stomped and stomped, and then no more stompy after.

"I try to get milk from da deer-lady Pepper thing but then they got mad and chase me" :c

"You has to die" Kadota pounced onto Shinra in a rape form.

"Dud, don't do this dud no no nooo."

"Hey, you cant do dat here without me" Mikado grabbed them both and klunk they head.

"I was just trying to like. Feel his body." Kadota-cat explained with smugness.

"Bro no homo." Both brother judged Kadota.

"Shinra you came here cause you came to get your totem of something. So, deal with dis for now."

"K, what you waiting for. Lets ride." c: Shinra got to his boat-thing in the river already

"Are you a titan?" Mikado didn't think he was very human.

"nu c:"

They all got onto their little boats and sailed with a paddle.

All happy like on kappacumbers.

"Lets get some cabbage for food." Kadota suggested.

"We'll boat here." They got on land, and waited for cabbage, with their net.

Shinra was lazy, so he went into the other part of the lands.

"Yay we has some cabbage now." Said Kadota.

Just then Shinra was on a Manny who hit da cabbage.

"Why you do that. Now we has to get more cabbage."

Kadota was not amused his catch was ruined by a mammoth named Manny, but where was Sid.

(Yes, cabbages live in the water)

"Eh. I cans get more." Later on, they head to da main land.

\- the mainlands c:-

"Heeey Shinra what totem do you think you gonna get."

Said a kiddie from a cool kids group that surrounded Shinra.

"Oh, probably I gonna get a raddish, for smart or maybe a carrot for handsome." c:

"Yeah, k." The kid jumped on him.

"Now that we has cabbage, you tie it up Shinra." said Kadota.

"Hue hue, when I get ma totem then you wont be so smug." c:

"Ya ya, just tie it up."

While the rest leave.

"I got that, no stupid potatoe gonna eat it."

Shinra tied it up, and ran to catch up, but then the net fell and the cabbage was now able to be stolen.

"Bah. It won't get stolen."

**At the place where you get the rock type** **things.**

A elderly Simon came with a dangerous fire torch and threw it at a wood near the wall of ancestors hand.

Where they use paint.

"These totem rocks have a meaning." Simon had a thick russian native accent while speaking.

"It is how your personality is or what you are, or what you need." Simon explained.

"Some have wisdom, some are powa, some are courage." Smug people everywhere.

"And some people. Beauty. like me" People laughed happily.

"We shall be celebrating with a special persons totem." c:

While everyone is cheering for Shinra.

"Hey, Shinra you nervous for your rock?"

"Jiggles."

"Well ya should be, it a good one." c:

"Shinra, I have seen where the kappa touch the sushi, and I have recived what your rock type is."

"Shinra, to become a man, you need one thing. Your rock is..." (Dramatic music)

"Luv." c: Simon showed him the totem unraveling the cloth which Shinra didn't see.

"wat. Love?" Shinra was confused.

"Yes, love." Simonette wrapped it arouns Shinra's neck.

"The potatoe of love?" Shinra looked back at his brother friends of Mikado and Kadota.

Kadota snickered, while Mikado shrugged.

"Who wants to trade?" Shinra tried to whisper to someone.

Simon hit Shinra on the head. "THERE IS NO TRADING"

"Shinra, love is the most greatest rock types of all, you be lucky dud." c:

"Kk, fine. Whateve." Shinra dismissed it and hugged Simon, the crowd cheered.

-Later on, after the totem thing-

"Ey, Shinra, I know you a bit uspset with your rock. But that's what you need." Mikado comforted Shinra.

Kadota made fun of him before this.

"Eh, get out Mikado, what about yours?" Shinra says.

"I was so confused. I still am." Mikado pulled out his rock.

" I mean, the beet of guidance? what does that mean?" He questioned.

"No, seriously, what the hell does it mean." Mikado didn't understand.

"Take a look at Kadota. He got the turnip of wisdom." Mikado pointed at Kadota judging him.

"Ah lalala floowweeeerrrssssss,- EEAAAH"

Kadota was bitten by a radish, on his bottom.

"Ahaha hueeh uheeee. Maybe I was bravery" c: Shinra felt really cooleo.

"Yeah... sure." c: Mikado judged him as well.

When they return to eat da cabbage,

But all da cabbage was stolen.

"You didn't tie up the net, did you." Unhappy said Kadota.

"Rrrr mnnnmm mmm. Nu." :c

"I wasted like, 2 weeks on dat basket" :C

"Ok, fine. I'll get your basket." Shinra headed off to the fields.

"See what you do now." Said Mikado disappointed.

"What, you." Kadota pouted.

Shinra got his pointy stick, and headed into the fields. He found a ripped up basket.

"Gawd dam it. It ripped up. Now wat." Shinra was angry and headed to kill the potatoe.

"I shall avenge you basket, mohahahaha." Shinra got to a bush and ate some sugur berry.

Suddenly, he saw the potatoe.

"Omg it's the potatoe. Shit. My stick is over there." The potatoe sniffed, and detected human.

Shinra closed his eyes, in pressure. And then jumped out tumbled and grabbed the stick.

No one was there, but then the potatoe hit him. He tumbled and clinged on the edge of a mountain cliff.

Mikado and Kadota saw him. "SHINRA WE COMING TO SAVE YOU."

They ran to Shinra, with their sticks.

"Hang on Shinra we got you's. "NO THE POTATOE! BEHIND YOU."

The potatoe roared.

Shinra got on in time.

The potatoe attacked, Kadota distracted it. With a rock.

"Yeh, come here potatoe cmere."

Soon on, they all got to the icy part of the mountains.

Kadota fighted off the potatoe.

But all of a sudden, a santa titan walked towards them.

"Oh, shit. We forgot about titans." They all thought.

The titan picked up Shinra, and ate him.

Mikado jumped into da titans mouth, and got his arm.

Pulling him out and holding up the titan's mouth.

"M-Mikado. halp." Shinra sobbed.

"RAARRRGH!" He threw Shinra out and onto the mountain.

"Ok, Shinra, Kadota. Pull me out of his mouth on the count of 3 ok?"

"Ok, ok ok. Here we go. 1!-" The titan chomped and Mikado's hand fell in front of Shinra.

Shinra and Kadota screamed.

Then the titan choked and hit the glacier.

Disappearing into the water, melting.

The potatoe then crashed into the water, but lived.

Well.

"Nooooooo MIKADO WHYYYYYYY TITAAANNSSS I WANNNAA KILL THEM ALLLL" Shinra screamed.

"Whhhhyyy"

Kadota bit his lips, as they went down to find if they could anything left of Mikado.

His rock was all.

As Shinra hugged Mikado's arm.

-Later at night, to the totem place-

The elderly Simon sadly threw another dangerous torch.

Simonette placed Mikado's arms and his rock, on a table.

Then he threw them into the fire.

The spirits lifted, and he was one of the sushi's.

Everyone was sad. Shinra cried.

But then his eyes turned evil with vegance and revenge.

-later again-

He got his stick, and passed one to Kadota.

"What are you doing?"

"What'd you mean? we're going after the potatoe."

"But, wasn't it the titan that killed him? why the hell are we going after the potatoe for?"

"Because he was a witness, and he stole our cabbage, shut up." Kadota didn't say anything though.

"He lead to his death, and lived after Mikado got eaten." Shinra finished.

"Bu-"

"Shut up."

"Don't upset the sushi's Shinra."

"Pffff. Sushi. Thanks for your wisdom."

When he was leaving, he bumped into Simon.

Shinra ripped off his rock, and threw it in the ashes of the fire.

Simon picked it up, and dusted off the ashes, burning his arms in the processes.

"I've gotta go after him." Kadota got his pointy stick, took his totem and tried finding Shinra.

"You left too soon, Mikado. Your brothers need your guidance." Simon said to the winds of leaves.

Shinra, found the potatoe, and threw a rock at it. It started running away.

"Oh, noe you don't you." Shinra chased after it, up a mountain.

"Shinra's foot prints..." Kadota followed them on the trail of Shinra still chasing the bear.

The potatoe tried to slow him down, but it didn't work.

He just kept chasing him. Until finally, the potatoe reached the end of the track.

They were both on a high mountain.

Shinra lunged at him, the potatoe knocked him down.

They were both on the ground, the potatoe tried to bite him, while Shinra was defending with his stick.

He pushed him, until the potatoe threw the stick behind him.

Shinra tumbled through his legs, and grabbed the stick.

He charged into the potatoe, and tumbled across his back.

Finally, the potatoe jumped forward to him, with his sharp claws.

Shinra tumbled, and aimed the stick at the potatoe. Potatoe roared.

The potatoe was, dead. "AAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Shinra yelled on his knee's.

Thundering clouds came.

Kadota heard his yell.

Kadota climbed the mountain, in many attempts with his stick.

Soon, blue sushi's started talking in a voice, judging Shinra as always.

A flow of soi sauce flowed into the mountain.

Shinra carfully stepped into it.

Magical vegtables started filling his sight, with different kinds.

"What the hell?"

He then saw Mikado, in his spirit form.

"Mikado?"

Mikado looked at the dead potatoe he killed.

Disapointed.

The potatoe then vaporized into fairy dust, into the magical light.

The kappa lord was beside him, also disappointed going "hm hm hm hm..." shaking his head and crossed his arms.

Kadota continuously urged to get up, his stick fell off.

Mikado then transformed into a beet with wings, and carried Shinra into the sky.

Shinra started magically transforming into a potatoe, with sushi all around him.

He was then gently held onto the floor, all the sushi and magical lights disappeared.

Shinra was on the ground, in a potatoe form.

Finally, Kadota got up, and saw the potatoe, then looked for Shinra.

All he could find was his clothing and his glasses.

"Noo..."

Shinra started waking up, in blury vision.

Thunder struct near him, and roared. He fell off the mountain, getting hit and fell down into the flowing river.

He urged for air nearly drowning, he then got hit by various rocks, and finally, washed up onto ground, unconscious.

"Damn it, I lost da potatoe... Shinra is dead now. :C I WILL AVENGE HIM. Muahahahaahahahe."

Kadota turned cray cray :c

"Now I wonder how a potatoe killed him, in the first place."

Kadota got his stick, and wrapped his/Shinra's rock around his/Shinra's stick.

-Later on in the early morning-

Shinra woke up, in blury vision. Looking around, he found himself in a unknown grassy field forest.

"Good morning Shinra" c:

The thick Russian voice said. He used a cloth rubbing on his bruises.

"Wha? what happened?" Shinra was confused as hell.

"Simon! you won't believe this! I had a dream where like, I was a potatoe, and these magic stuff came and did things to me."

(If you guys thought of something wrong or dirty, go wash your brain with soap c:)

His talking seemed like dying whale noises.

"Hey hey hey, Shinra, I don't speak potatoe." c: Shinra was confused, he looked into the water, and found a potatoe face.

"No noo no this can't be happening no no"

Looking at himself all around, himself. His claws his toes. "Wait, why do I have claws."

His tail then wiggled.

"AAAHHHHHHHH" Shinra freaked out in many more dying whale noises.

"Shinra Shinra calm down, Shinraaaa. Ugh. Shinra."

"This isn't going to work.." Simon got a horn from nowhere and threw it at Shinra.

Shinra fell.

Simon picked up Shinra's cheeks and focused them on Simon.

"Shinra, listen to me. Mikado did this, the only way to get back, is by going to where the kappa touch the sushi."

Simonette began explaining, drawing the signs for Shinra.

"You'll soon make up to the things you've done wrong. Here I have your glasses. Put them on."

Giving Shinra glasses, Simonette left without a trace.

"But, Simon. I didn't do nothing wrong. Wha? Simon-san? where you go? I did nothing wrong."

Shinra then saw a familiar face to him.

"Kadota? is that you? oh, Kadota I so glad you found me I was-" Kadota approached Shinra with a pointy stick.

"Uh.. Kadota?"

"RAAAAHH!" Kadota striked the stick at him.

Shinra tried to get away.

He striked again, Shinra then pushed him off, and got to somewhere safe.

"Oh, ma gawd. That was scary, why doesn't he recognize me? Oh, yeah. I'm a potatoe."

Shinra then heard some talking from somewhere.

"So wait wat. You sure you didn't steal my chick pea's.." a Pea pod had said.

"Nooo..." c: Another pea pod in fact did have his chick peas in his pod, stuffed in.

"Cause it was just sittin here and then it magically disappear right?"

"Yeh... right.." Two pea's were talking to each other and Shinra didn't understand how they could talk.

"Hey, you just talked." Shinra was amazed and stared at them.

"Um yeah. Just slowly back away,"

"How'd you do that?" O:

"AHHHHHH" One of the pea's dropped some chick pea's and ran away first.

"You did steeeaaal theeeemmm" The pea's ran away.

"Heeuehuee. Look at that potatoe over dere'." a low voice said.

"He must've had some bad cabbage." Two Onions were snickering at him.

"Hey, you guys can you help me?" Shinra needed help.

"AHHH he's spotted us, get under this log."

The Onions hid their heads under a log, while their stem was sticking out.

"Oh, no he found us! pretend we not here." So smart.

"Um, yeah. We're not here." Too smart.

"You brute now he knows where we are." Hushed one. Huffes.

"Um. Hi?" Shinra peeked in their hiding spot.

"AHHH" The Onions were terrified, and held each other.

"Don't eat us! yeah, eat dat gui." The blonded onion pled.

"Nu, you crazy." The one with a black stripe on his side said.

"Ya." wat.

"Hey hey, I not eating nobody fools." Shinra pull their stems and leaves up.

"Well, yeah good good. Thanks Potatoe."

"Don't call me that." :c

"Oh, ok then um...Mr potatoe ?" The onion was confused.

"No, I'm not a potatoe. I hate potatoes." Shinra shook his head of potatoeness.

"Pffff. Well. You one big tomato ahahaha ah, that would be hot tho.." the one with the black stripes said.

The blonded bleach one got angry at that the other one to give more attention to the potatoe than him.

The one with the stripe winked and smirked at Shinra.

"I-I'm not a tomato I'm I'm a man." Shinra blushed at that.

"Heyuuuggh... CRAZY. Cough cough." Coughed the bleach onion of blonde.

"No, no. I was a man, transformed into a potato, magically." Shinra explained, adding features of special effects.

"Heyuuuggh.. FRUITCAKE. cough cough."

"I AM NOT CRAZY. Ok ok, look. Do you guys know where the kappa touches the sushi."

"Yeeeeee... no. No we don't." They shook their stems.

"Ok, my names Shinra, got dat." He said

"Well. I'm Izaya, and this is my bitch, Shizuo." the one called Izaya smirked.

So the one with the stripes of black is Izaya and the blonded bleached one is Shizuo.

"Whatever, can ya show me a way there?" Shinra was not interested in an onion-some at the moment.

"Hmms. I think it's that way." Izaya pointed at east.

"You sure about that?"

"Nope." Izaya shrugged smugly.

"Ok, never mind, I'll find it myself."

"Oh, wait don't go there." the onion named Shizuo had warned.

Shinra ignored him and carried on.

"Was there a reason, Shizu-chan?"

"Well, there was a reason. Oh, well."

All of a sudden, Shinra got tied up on a tree, upside down when he stepped on a rope thingy.

Getting hit on the ground again and again.

The two looked at Shinra as he hurt himself with less amusment from Shizuo but alot for Izaya.

"Thought of it yet?"

"Hmm.. I'm still thinking about it. It's driving me nuts. I need a smoke"

"Neh, Shizu-chan, I think you only need me." He winked playfully to him, causing Shizuo to blush.

The two Onions left him dangling.

"Ugh... damn it. A trap." Shinra found a stick. "Aha, I shall gets it."

Then, before he could get it, a voice came from a tiny burrow.

"Is it safe?" A blond-ish blob of eyes said.

"Wha?"

"I mean, are there any hunters around."

"Uh. No?" Shinra said with uncertainess

"AW GOOD." Shinra was frightened and springed into a tree face first.

"AHHHHHH"

A small potatoe jumped out with blonde shades of hair pieces.

"Ey, you scare me." Shinra was sad.

"Yeh, srry. Ya need help?" The potatoe picked up the stick.

"Nu, AH!"

And started whacking Shinra, not listening.

"AH STOP IT NOT HELPING SHTAP SHTAP SHTAP IT. AGH"

"You'll have to eat your toes to get outta this."

"No. And I don't need your help. I can get out ma self."

"Here, take this stick."

"No, put it back where you found it."

"Here?"

"No, over there."

"Here?"

"YES. PERFECT. Ok." Shinra continuously attempts to get the stick, but it didn't work.

"I'm gonna go eat a berry. I'll wait for you to get out."

-8 hours later-

"Euuuggh Uuueeggh."

As Shinra continued to fail, the small potatoe passes it to Shinra unamused while Shinra struggled and didn't see.

"Aha! there I got it. See? If you think, you can get out of situations like these." Shinra look cray cray.

Smug attack.

The potatoe youngling just rolled his eyes.

Shinra put the stick in his mouth, trying to forcefully pull himself down.

It didn't work.

"Your stuck aren't you."

"Yeah, I'm stuck."

"But if I help you down, you have to come to the cabbage run with me."

"Yeah. Yeah ok."

"pot swear?"

"Yeah, pot swear, whatever you say. If you can't get me down, then leave me, and never EVER come back again."

And so the two potatoes pot potatoed sweared.

"But your just a little potato. So theres no way you can-"

The potatoe gets up, and kicks the string. It made him fly.

Causing the trap to unravel, and Shinra fell on the floor.

On his crouch, with the stick landing on him.

"HAAAAAAAAAAHH" Shinra gasped hurt on the floor.

**-"So when we going?"**

**"Ok ok, fine. We going."**

**"Kk. Lez go." Shinra and the tiny potatoe ventured off to the cabbage run.-**

**THAT'S WHAT THE LITTLE POTATOE KIDA THOUGHT ANYWAYS.**

"We're not."

"What? but you pot potatoe swore."

"Well, things change. Cya later tiny potatoe."

"Wait."

"The truth is.. I got separated from ma mama. And I need someone to go to the cabbage run with me." :C

The potataoe was sad.

"We shall rest in this big ass ice cave, wait. What you doing."

The little potatoe started making faces in the ice. Shinra was not amused.

Until, Shinra heard foot steps on the cave.

"Wh-" Shinra catched the little potatoe and muffled his mouth. Kadota waited.

And checked for noises. Then he left.

"Hello? I can't breathe." Shinra released him.

They both breathing heavily.

-afterwards c:-

"Why you needs to go there." Shinra asked.

"Like, tell why I even should."

"Come on, it'll be fun. Water, lots of cabbage, amazing views. And every night, we watch where the kappa touches the sushi."

"What? where the kappa touches the sushi?"

"Yep."

"You know about the kappa?"

"Yeah, sure I do."

Shinra put his hand on his face and wiped it down. "If you slow me down-"

"I promise, I won't." The little potatoe sprakled.

"Ok, fine. We'll go in the morning." Shinra falls to sleep. Little potatoe tries to sleep beside him like family, but he pushed him aside.

He dealt with it, and slept where little potatoe was moved.

"You not Mikado, no hug for you, kid."

"My name's not kid or no little potatoe, it's KIDA, Kida Masaomi!" the little potatoe named Kida had said.

"Yeah, yeah, man, I wanna kill titans.."

Silents.

"..What's your favorite idea, or your name?" c: Kida asked a smile.

"..Argh." Shinra thought that this will be a long night.

snooze c:

-In the morning-

"Augh. Fine. Right after that, will you leave me alone?"

"Yeah, I got it. Lets go."

Shinra walked, towards the fields in a grumpy grumpy face. The little potatoe tried to imitate him.

Shinra got annoyed, and so did little Kida potatoe. Then he ran.

"O mai gawd why you copy meh."

"Cause I can duuuhh."

"Wat. Srsly. Fine."

Shinra noticed a field o flowers. And then little Kida potatoe destroy em all and put flowers all over Shinra that make him sneeze.

"Acchoooooooo."

**part 1 end c:**

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